Swings, Laughing, and Exhaustion.

Swings, laughing, and exhaustion. That has been my life for a week and a half so far and I love it! At the end of the day I am so tired because I completely wear myself out during play time at school. From swinging kids on my arms to playing chase, every second is worth it. Every interaction is important. Every word spoken is intentional. Every time I see a kid smile, hear little girls just cackling because they love being tickled, seeing joy on their faces when you enter the room- all of those moments drive me straight to Jesus.

 I've been in Romania for 11 days so far. God is teaching me something during this trip that I did not anticipate at all. I knew that I would be challenged. I knew that I would see things that I need to fix and I would see my strengths come out in certain areas. What I was not expecting was to realize and pinpoint the exact moment that the calling that God has placed on my life is going to look way different that I ever imagined it to be. I know that the Lord is calling me to work with cross-cultural people. I've always assumed that was overseas somewhere in a far off distant place. That's what I love about God though, I do not have to worry about planning my life. God takes me through seasons. The next season of my life looks crazy different than the one that I had anticipated God would take me through. 

Even when I don't understand what is going on, God is unchanging. Even when there's a thick fog and I can't see exactly what the object in front of me looks like but I can see the outline, God gives clarity as time goes on. I am so glad that I can cry out to Jesus and He hears every bit of it. He wipes the tears away. He stands in my place. 

When I'm exhausted, He stands in my place. When I laugh, He hears what is making me laugh. When little kids are cackling with joy, He hears it too. When I have kids hanging on every limb of my body, it's all for Jesus. There's no greater joy than doing the very thing that you were created to do. 

Because Jesus was a servant, that's what I want to spend my life doing. I want to be about John 3:30. The very purpose of life is that He must become greater, and I must become less. 

Jesus, you never change. Thank you for being the God you say you are. Thank you that in the moments I'm afraid you steady my heart. Thank you for staying the same. 

Jesus, you're always enough for me! You're all I need!

 Your presence satisfies this heart. 

Thank You that when I can't, you always can! 

It is my joy to say Your will, Your way, always! 

So, for the next week and a half, I am going to serve. I am going to swing more kids, I am going to make them laugh and make myself laugh. I am going to exhaust myself knowing that I gave it all. I am going to serve quietly when necessary. I am going to serve boldly when necessary. I am going to serve with the intentions of pleasing my Father. I am going to serve because these kids are WORTH it! 

Bread please

I'm tired! This journey all started bright and early. The food is good. Church was great and the people are awesome! I love being able to worship with my Romanian brothers and sisters. It's heaven practice! Every nation and every tongue will stand around the throne and worship Jesus. Una-Una church was only a glimpse of that! There's something exciting about the body of Christ during corporate worship. We all serve and desire the same God. As I sat in worship Sunday, I began to think about my heart issues. So many times I am just like Thomas. I hear the truth all the time and I see God at work all around me. Yet, I still choose to remain distant from God. I know He is trustworthy and faithful to His promises but I look towards myself and say "I can do this on my own." The moment I choose distance over determination is the moment I am in complete desperation of a Rescue, a Redeemer, the One is LIFE! 

We've eaten bread at every meal so far...I like bread. I expect it at every meal now. It sticks to your tummy and it's a sustainer food. That's what Christ longs to be to us. We are to expect Him to show up in every circumstance, every conversation, in every moment and stick. He fills us up with the Holy Spirit so that we aren't hungry for anything else. 

We are created to actively seek Jesus and live in constant worship of the Almighty God. 

That is LIFE! God is teaching me so much in the first few days here in Romania. I know that challenge is coming. I know exhaustion is coming. But one thing I know for sure, I can rest in the presence of my Savior!

"Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you'll recover your life. I'll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won't lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you'll learn to live freely and lightly." (Matthew 11:28-30 MSG)