What Will You Do?

86 Christians killed and 146 injured.

Numbers that I cannot get out of my head. They flash over and over and over in my mind as I sit in America, "the land of the free and the home of the brave". I'm your average college student. I like to drink coffee, spend more time with my friends talking about the most random things rather than studying. I attend a small, private Southern Baptist university in the Bible Belt and I thank God for the opportunity to invest four years of my life here. I sit in classrooms all day and study how to understand the Bible and how to share the gospel in a cross-cultural setting effectively. This is my life. I enjoy the comfort that I get to experience on a daily basis.

I often need a reminder that it is crucial to be educated nowadays. Maybe, just maybe, we put the emphasis on the wrong education though. Maybe if we spent more time in God's Word, we might be a little more passionate about the people around us. Maybe if we are spiritually educated, it will transform our lives. I don't like to admit it sometimes, but the thought of transformation kind of freaks me out a little bit. To admit that I have flaws, to admit that I need to change so that Jesus can be evident in me, to admit that I am so so weak- that makes me sink into my chair.

Today, my heart hurts. It aches. As I sat in class today, I couldn't help but to think of the 86 lives that were lost because they chose Jesus. I have news for you--- THAT IS ONLY ONE PLACE! Every single day, people are giving their lives for the cause of seeing people reached for Jesus.

One of my heroes, Lottie Moon, once said, "How many there are ... who imagine that because Jesus paid it all, they need pay nothing, forgetting that the prime object of their salvation was that they should follow in the footsteps of Jesus Christ in bringing back a lost world to God." When you make yourself available for transformation, the Holy Spirit is going to make you so uncomfortable. 

Conviction+Confession+Commitment=Transformation

He will take your ordinary, everyday life and it will become a radical, transformed, extraordinary life. 

I'm convinced that as we spend more time allowing God to chisel away at our weaknesses that He replaces it with boldness. God's desire for your life is not to sit in a comfortable building everyday working your way up the corporate ladder so that you can have the nicest house with a fancy car. God's desire for your life is that your heart would break for the people that you see everyday. That the people next to you in class will burden your heart. That the people you see in the drive-thru window at Starbucks every morning on your way to work will take precedence over getting to work a few minutes early. 

I'm convinced that we are called to live life like Lottie Moon, Hudson Taylor, William Carey, Paul, and Noah. Ordinary people who aligned themselves with the Holy Spirit and were transformed! You are no different. 
The moment that you decide to press into God's Word, things will become difficult. Stand firm, though. He has the victory! 

Pakistan, China, India, Korea, USA, you name it, someone is daily putting Jesus first and laying down their life for the sake of the gospel. 
Will you do the same? 

What will it take to break your heart for what breaks His? 

When will you choose to go, whether that's right where you live or to another nation, when will you GO and MAKE DISCIPLES? 

All I know is that I choose Jesus. I will choose Jesus until my dying breath just as the people in Pakistan have done. Just like some of the most well-known missionaries have done. I choose Jesus because only he can take something filthy like me and transform me into his image so that I may be a vessel into making himself known. 

May we ponder on these words of Lottie Moon. "The needs of these people press upon my soul, and I cannot be silent. It is grievous to think of these human souls going down to death without even one opportunity of hearing the name of Jesus...Once more I urge upon the consciences of my Christian brethren and sisters the claims of these people among whom I dwell. Here I am working alone in a city of many thousand inhabitants, with numberless villages clustered around or stretching away in the illuminate distance: how many can I reach?" 
How many will you reach?

86 Christians killed and 146 injured. 

What will you do with these numbers?

Swings, Laughing, and Exhaustion.

Swings, laughing, and exhaustion. That has been my life for a week and a half so far and I love it! At the end of the day I am so tired because I completely wear myself out during play time at school. From swinging kids on my arms to playing chase, every second is worth it. Every interaction is important. Every word spoken is intentional. Every time I see a kid smile, hear little girls just cackling because they love being tickled, seeing joy on their faces when you enter the room- all of those moments drive me straight to Jesus.

 I've been in Romania for 11 days so far. God is teaching me something during this trip that I did not anticipate at all. I knew that I would be challenged. I knew that I would see things that I need to fix and I would see my strengths come out in certain areas. What I was not expecting was to realize and pinpoint the exact moment that the calling that God has placed on my life is going to look way different that I ever imagined it to be. I know that the Lord is calling me to work with cross-cultural people. I've always assumed that was overseas somewhere in a far off distant place. That's what I love about God though, I do not have to worry about planning my life. God takes me through seasons. The next season of my life looks crazy different than the one that I had anticipated God would take me through. 

Even when I don't understand what is going on, God is unchanging. Even when there's a thick fog and I can't see exactly what the object in front of me looks like but I can see the outline, God gives clarity as time goes on. I am so glad that I can cry out to Jesus and He hears every bit of it. He wipes the tears away. He stands in my place. 

When I'm exhausted, He stands in my place. When I laugh, He hears what is making me laugh. When little kids are cackling with joy, He hears it too. When I have kids hanging on every limb of my body, it's all for Jesus. There's no greater joy than doing the very thing that you were created to do. 

Because Jesus was a servant, that's what I want to spend my life doing. I want to be about John 3:30. The very purpose of life is that He must become greater, and I must become less. 

Jesus, you never change. Thank you for being the God you say you are. Thank you that in the moments I'm afraid you steady my heart. Thank you for staying the same. 

Jesus, you're always enough for me! You're all I need!

 Your presence satisfies this heart. 

Thank You that when I can't, you always can! 

It is my joy to say Your will, Your way, always! 

So, for the next week and a half, I am going to serve. I am going to swing more kids, I am going to make them laugh and make myself laugh. I am going to exhaust myself knowing that I gave it all. I am going to serve quietly when necessary. I am going to serve boldly when necessary. I am going to serve with the intentions of pleasing my Father. I am going to serve because these kids are WORTH it! 

Bread please

I'm tired! This journey all started bright and early. The food is good. Church was great and the people are awesome! I love being able to worship with my Romanian brothers and sisters. It's heaven practice! Every nation and every tongue will stand around the throne and worship Jesus. Una-Una church was only a glimpse of that! There's something exciting about the body of Christ during corporate worship. We all serve and desire the same God. As I sat in worship Sunday, I began to think about my heart issues. So many times I am just like Thomas. I hear the truth all the time and I see God at work all around me. Yet, I still choose to remain distant from God. I know He is trustworthy and faithful to His promises but I look towards myself and say "I can do this on my own." The moment I choose distance over determination is the moment I am in complete desperation of a Rescue, a Redeemer, the One is LIFE! 

We've eaten bread at every meal so far...I like bread. I expect it at every meal now. It sticks to your tummy and it's a sustainer food. That's what Christ longs to be to us. We are to expect Him to show up in every circumstance, every conversation, in every moment and stick. He fills us up with the Holy Spirit so that we aren't hungry for anything else. 

We are created to actively seek Jesus and live in constant worship of the Almighty God. 

That is LIFE! God is teaching me so much in the first few days here in Romania. I know that challenge is coming. I know exhaustion is coming. But one thing I know for sure, I can rest in the presence of my Savior!

"Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you'll recover your life. I'll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won't lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you'll learn to live freely and lightly." (Matthew 11:28-30 MSG)

Great is Thy Faithfulness

You can trust God's promises!!

Don't let your lack of trust in people spill over to doubting your trust in God.When God says something,He is going to do it.He is faithful.

Know that the Lord your God is God, the faithful God. He keeps his commandments! Deuteronomy 7:9.

When we are faithless, God is faithful! (2 Tim. 2:11-13) He can't stop being who He is. Faithful is His attribute.

You don't have to fight the temptation of sinning for the rest of your life on your own. God's going to fight it for you.

In Ezekiel,the dry bones couldn't come to life on their own.They needed breath ("numa").God breathed his Spirit into them and LIFE happened.
Just as we didn't come to Christ on our own, we don't remain in Christ on our own. That's what the Holy Spirit does. He breathes in us every morning. New breath. He gives us new life and He operates through us! You aren't alone! Why? Because God is faithful to His promises.

"They are new every morning; great and abundant is Your stability and FAITHFULNESS!"( -Lamentations 3:23)


Your actions do not change God.


When we are faithless, God is faithful!
Like Hosea, God keeps saying "I want YOU! Whatever it takes, whatever the cost, I want you back." He will not give up. Why? Because He is faithful. That is His very being. He is who He says He is. I can just picture Gomer who has chosen to sale herself for sex. She's chosen this lifestyle. She's in the midst many beautiful girls- she's exhausted because she's been with so many men in one day and she's all messed up. Then, I picture this auction happening in a brothel and the men get to Gomer and they're only offering half the price of her normal rates. She's looking down. Not caring who buys her and she hears this voice saying, "i want you." and it get's closer to the stage and it kept saying "i don't want all these other women, i want you. just as you are. you. all of you." It's a voice that she recognizes. And she starts thinking "wait a minute, that's my ex husband. I left him for this. What's happening? Why would he want me?" Hosea wanted Gomer just as God wanted Israel, his people. The ones he taught to walk. (Hosea 11)
His son, His child. The one that was called out. Chosen. Israel was God's. Can you see how much God loves us in that story? While we are prostitutes, selling ourselves to whatever, God looks at us and says, "Logan, I want you. I don't care what you've done. I don't care about your past. I do not change. I am a faithful God. My promise to you will not fail. I keep my promises. You can trust me. I'm trustworthy. I am who I am and I do not waiver in my very being. I want you."

God remains faithful to his people! There's an if though. He remains faithful IF we remain in him!
No matter what you've done, you can't change who God is. He wants you! All of you. Not the clean part. He wants all of your filth. Your dirt. Your grossness. Just as you are. He wants it. And he's going to remain true to his promises and you can trust him because he is a faithful God!

#Luckiestgirl #Lovestory

February is known as the "month of love." It's a month where couples post on Facebook how much they love their significant other, they tweet to them, they leave sweet notes on the mirror for their spouse, and plan an extravagant dinner and buy presents and flowers, and okay you get the point. I'm about to be very honest with you. I've never really wanted a huge wedding. I mean yes, what girl doesn't dream about dresses, colors, flowers, cake and first dances? I even have my "How Sweet It Is" board on Pinterest that has all sorts of wedding ideas but I doubt I'll ever put any of it to use. I want a wedding and I want to be married but I don't want to be caught up in all the fluff. I don't really think about my "dream proposal." Of course, I've been on YouTube and watched countless videos of amazing proposals; crowds of family and friends all lip-syncing the couple's favorite song as the man escorts his soon-to-be fiancé to a candlelit beach at sunset. I just don't give much thought to what my own proposal might look like. I don't have the slightest idea of the ring I'd want. Sure, I've admired engagement rings on other women. Yes, I've gone to try on engagement rings but in all honesty, I still had no idea what kind of ring I would like. I skim through Jared or Helzberg Diamond catalogues when they come in the paper. Don't get me wrong, I love diamonds as much as the next girl but I don't have the cut, color and clarity of the diamond picked out awaiting my future husband's credit card. I have the God-given desire to be married and it seems to intensify with age. Maybe it's the fact that others my age are all trying the knot or maybe it's because graduating college, marriage, child birth and death are the only major milestones that I haven't crossed off of my list. I've spent time praying about marriage and the desire to be in a relationship. But, I've been thinking about the whole idea of marriage and it's the symbolism of it all that matters. Not the ring, the sobbing that occurs when saying vows or the romantic proposal. When I notice a lady who is wearing a wedding ring.. I think "lucky her!" Not lucky because she has a huge rock on her hand, but because she's been chosen. She's different. It means that a man is so in love with her that he can't picture his life without her. Chosen. I want to feel set apart. I want to feel special, chosen, and unique. I want others to look at me and say, "wow, lucky her!" Not lucky because of my ring, but because I have been chosen. Here's the thing though. Because I wanted that feeling, I settled and entered into a meaningless relationship that I changed who I was because I thought the guy was special enough. I was going to be called "lucky." I was going to be chosen. Then I woke up. I came back to my first love. A man that loves me for exactly who I am. Yea, I changed some things for Him but these were changes for my good. Rather than getting down on one knee and asking for my hand, this man got on a cross and asked for my sins. This man chose me, set me apart, and took time to write my ending before my beginning. He knows my thoughts before I think them and I love spending time with Him. I can walk with my head high now. It has nothing to do with who is around me. It has everything to do with who lives in me. With who loves me. With who chose me. With who proposed to me, on a cross, long before I was born. I dare you to find a better love story than that. With all this being said, use this "month of love" to shine bright for Jesus. Go back to your first love. You are chosen by Jesus. Set apart by Jesus. Rest content knowing that you are one of the luckiest people in the world.

"What's been going on?"

What do you say to someone when you haven't seen them in a long time? Usually, the first thing out of my mouth is "Hey! What's been going on?" The phrase has become so tossed around and really doesn't even have meaning anymore. We say it in passing, we text it, we tweet people asking them how they are or we facebook it. But when is the last time that you genuinely asked someone what's been going on in their life? I know, I know. We have busy schedules and things to do and places to go. It has been a year since I last blogged. Over the last couple of weeks, I began to ask myself "what's been going on?" Do ever get the urge to self evaluate yourself? Because that is exactly what I did. From 1 year ago until this very moment, I have examined the places that I have gone, the friendships that I have gained and lost, the relationship that I chose to enter into, and the choices I have made (good and bad). There are things that I wish that I could blot out. Erase completely. But there are things that I would do over and over and over. What would I choose to do again? I would choose Jesus. I would pick Jesus. He trumps it all! Not one thing that I did outdoes who Jesus is and His superiority. From China to Alaska to Nicaragua, Jesus reigns. The places that I have been able to go in the past year have blown me away. God always outdoes Himself. He makes himself show up in ways that I can't even begin to describe. Reflecting on what I've experienced in a year, makes me fall more in love with Jesus each day. Knowing that I serve a God who is all-powerful, all-knowing, and all-sufficient makes serving Him a joy! Because of my love for Jesus, I long to be obedient. That should be my natural response. Obedience should become a reflex for us because we have trained our lives to be about Jesus. When we hear the voice of the Holy Spirit, we should say "Yes Lord, wherever you send me, I'll go. Whatever it takes to make you famous, I'll do." That should be the cry of our hearts as followers of Jesus. Claim Isaiah 26:8 over your life! "Yes, LORD, walking in the way of your laws, we wait for you; your name and renown are the desire of our hearts." God will not fail you. He will sustain you. He will give you life. He will give you joy. CHOOSE JESUS! Make an effort in the next few days to really be intentional about asking people what is going on in their life. Community is important. Not only talk to others about life, but really do a self-evaluation. Are you choosing Jesus above your own desires? When you place God as number one, you are choosing life. You are choosing obedience. When you choose to be about the things of God, blessings will follow!